microaggression

From training content by Dr. Janice Gassam Asare:

Microaggressions are small intentional or unintentional acts that create a hostile environment for the person on the receiving end.

They can single a person out by highlighting some (often merely presumed) difference, ultimately causing them them to feel unwelcome. Examples include:

• Telling a Black person how articulate they are (which implicitly reveals your low expectations for Black people in general)
• Asking a non-white person where they are from, especially when followed up with “No where are you really from?” (which assumes they are not from “here” and don’t ultimately belong)

Responding to Microaggressions

If you’re in a group where someone uses a microaggression, here are some ways I’ve learned to respond productively:

• As an easy way to register discomfort, and perhaps give you time to collect your thoughts on it, you can simply say “Ouch” when someone says something hurtful.
• Ask “What do you mean by that?”, prompting the speaker to reconsider what they said. If they respond that they only meant it as a joke, you can follow up with “I don’t get it” or “Why is that funny?”
• “What made you say that?” Or “What led you to that conclusion?” can prompt reflection by someone if their comment was indeed thoughtless.
• If you weren’t the target of the microaggression, don’t presume to speak for the person who was. Focus on your own feelings, e.g. “Language like that makes me uncomfortable”, rather than “Language like that could make so-and-so uncomfortable,” so as not to further isolate them.
• If you have some privilege or seniority in the group, phrases like “We don’t make jokes like that here” can bolster norms without directly confronting a speaker who might otherwise get defensive.