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A meditation practice introduced to me by Pema Chodron in When Things Fall Apart, the informal practice of tonglen has helped me keep it together this year when the unnecessary death and devastation around me has been too much to bear. The practice is simple: when breathing in deeply, imagine taking in all the pain and suffering before you into your body (I picture it as acrid smoke), and breathing out, imagine releasing cool, clear relief back into the world for those who need it. While I don’t believe I am magically helping anyone but myself with this practice, it has been helpful to give me something I can do when I feel helpless and the dogs of panic come nipping at my heels.
In Chodron’s words:
This is the core of the practice: breathing in others’ pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open. Breathing out, sending them relaxation or whateer we feel would bring them relief and happiness.
One can practice tonglen with a specific person in mind whose pain we wish to relieve, but she explains how we often have a hard time moving beyond our own pain and fears. When that is the case, we can practice tonglen for all those who feel the same pain and fear that we do:
At that point we can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what we are feeling, and for millions of other people just like us who at that very moment and feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe we are able to name our pain: we recognize it clearly as terror, or revulsion, or wanting to get revenge. So we breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion. And we breathe out relief or whatever opens up the space for ourselves and all those countless others.