adult development

Because we don’t just stop maturing at 18, adult development is a relatively new field in psychology that studies how adults continue to mature biologically, emotionally, and psychologically. (As I learned from Robert Sapolsky’s Behave, the prefrontal cortex from which most of our “higher self” derives isn’t even fully developed until age 25.)

At Work

Jennifer Dary, founder of the professional coaching company Plucky, has written about how workplaces, when they’re intentional about it, can be catalytic for adult development:

From the time we’re born until we turn 18 years old, we grow in the foreground of a concept called “Childhood Development.” Childhood Development tracks biological, emotional and psychological progress as children grow, alerting caregivers and educators to periods when the child may need more support. This concept is well-established in our society; we track it in schools, during pediatrician visits, in our television programming.

But then, suddenly, the child turns 18 and it’s all over. Once you’ve successfully completed Childhood Development in school you enter the workplace as an adult — expected to get results and get to work. No more messing around; it’s go-time.

I’m not arguing that this is the wrong way to develop children. But what I am arguing is that it’s the wrong way to develop adults.

—Jennifer Dary, “My next 30 years: Empowering our workplaces as centers for Adult Development”

I’ve been fortunate to experience this firsthand. While my first two jobs had little to offer in this regard, my past 6 years at Lessonly have contributed to significant emotional and psychological (to say nothing of professional) growth. This doesn’t happen by accident: our CEO Max has intentionally led by example by showing vulnerability (helping me shed some of the “boys don’t cry” toxic masculinity to which I was socialized), promoting emotional awareness and empathy by giving all employees a copy of Nonviolent Communication, and ultimately writing a book about the confluence of personal and professional growth.

Elsewhere

Now, just as I don’t think access to affordable healthcare should be tied to employment like it mostly is in the US today, I don’t think workplaces should be the only centers for adult development. But I can see why they prioritize it. I need to find the source but there’s an adage in programming that “projects rarely fail for technical reasons, they most often fail for people/communication reasons”. Prioritizing the emotional, psychological, and interpersonal maturity of employees is simply good for business.

While I was a churchgoer, church was another locus of adult development, albeit a more muddled one. Sunday sermons were a mixed bag, but at least sometimes focused on learning how to be a better human, and offered support groups like the new parents’ group to help people grow to navigate life’s challenges. But I say “muddled” because so much of my personal growth has come from unlearning limiting assumptions I’d once been certain about, and yet church often places such high value on certainty that in order to join my last church I was required to recite in front of everyone a litany of “I believe” statements. (For similar life lessons that don’t require belief in anything, I recommend The School of Life’s secular Sunday Sermons playlist of talks by scientists and educators.)

Much of my personal growth comes from reading (1-on-0) and friendships (1-on-1), but I want to see more communities of inquiry and practice about being human that are open to all regardless of employment or belief.